


too dark to see

by Chash



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Gen, Season/Series 05
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-11
Updated: 2018-05-11
Packaged: 2019-05-05 12:30:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14618583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chash/pseuds/Chash
Summary: Madi is trying to find differences in Bellamy Blake.





	too dark to see

Madi is looking for differences.

The beard is the obvious one, but it's not really _important_. After six years, no one is going to look exactly like Clarke’s drawings of them. It wasn't like it made a difference; she still knew him right away.

What she’s waiting for is for him to be wrong, somehow, to not match up to the stories, but she can't find a single crack. Clarke said he would come, and he did. She said Clarke needed help, and he’s going to help her, no questions asked. And he's the only one coming with her, because he's a leader, like Clarke said, taking charge and not risking his people. Protecting everyone.

 _Even when I couldn’t count on Bellamy, I could count on Bellamy_ , she said once. _He always did whatever he had to, to take care of his people_.

 _Will I be his people?_ Madi asked.

 _Of course_ , said Clarke, and she wasn’t wrong about that, either.

He clears his throat, pulling Madi from her thoughts. “You haven't told me your name yet."

His voice doesn't count as a difference. It’s not what she imagined, but that’s not his fault. She didn’t have any idea what he’d sound like, and she just made up a Bellamy voice in her head. His real one is better.

“Madi.”

She sees him nod out of the corner of her eye. He told her to drive, and every time she sees his hands, she knows why. It's like he forgot how to use them, like he's not even sure they're attached to him.

He should figure it out before he talks to anyone else.

“Okay, Madi. And you already know me.”

“Yeah.”

He’s quiet for a minute. “What clan are you from?”

The name is like a scab in her mind. She didn’t forget, but it hurts a little to touch it. “Louwoda Kliron Kru.”

“I don’t think I ever met any one from that clan.”

“There weren't a lot of them in Polis. They didn’t like the commander. They didn’t want her to take me. Like the Ark and your sister," she adds. It was one of the first things Clarke told her, before they really knew each other. Madi would sit on the rocks by the water, and Clarke would just talk. _My best friend had a sister he had to hide, too. She lived under the floor, and if anyone found out about her, they'd take her. He spent his whole life keeping her safe._

“So you were hiding?” he asks. “From the commander?”

“The flame keepers.”

“When did—“ He stops, clears his throat, starts again. “When did Clarke find you?”

“She said it was—“ She tried to remember. It was a long time ago, and days didn’t matter much to her. “A couple months. After you left.”

He nods, staring straight ahead. “So you two weren’t alone for too long.”

They were still alone, of course. But she gets what he means; they had each other. “No.”

“What about the bunker?”

“Buried. Clarke said the tower fell on it. She couldn’t dig them out. That was before she found me. But if anyone can get them out, it’s Skairipa!” she adds, with only a little more enthusiasm than she feels. Clarke’s going to be fine, because Bellamy’s here to help, and if Bellamy’s here, everyone will be. That’s how it works, right? Clarke always said they’d all come back. It’s only a matter of time.

Bellamy smiles a little. “Yeah, I’m sure O’s working on it.”

“I’m sorry she’s not here,” Madi offers. “I know Clarke tried.”

“I know.” He’s quiet again. “I don’t even know what to ask you. Is she—are you—“ Out of the corner of her eye, she sees him move, running his hand through his hair. “I don’t know where to start.”

“She can tell you. Once we get her. You really didn’t know she was alive? You couldn’t hear us?”

“Hear you?”

“On the radio. She called every day.”

His breath comes out hard and sharp. “No. The radiation—our communication systems couldn't get through. We didn’t know what was going on down here until we got to the Eligius ship. We heard they were chasing someone, but we couldn’t tell—honestly, I thought it must be O. She seemed like the one who’d be getting chased.”

“She was protecting me,” Madi says, soft. “Clarke. That’s why they got her.”

“Hey. You didn’t do anything wrong,” he says. “Of course she was protecting you.”

“But I should have—“

“You did everything right,” he says. “And we’re going to get her back.”

“What if we’re too late?”

“We’re not.” His hands twitch in his lap; he's holding a cup, and he keeps staring at it, when he doesn't know what else to look at. "What did she tell you about m--about us?"

"Everything."

"Everything?"

"Yeah."

"I'm not sure I remember everything."

Her blood runs cold. "No?"

He doesn't quite _laugh_ , but it's something like that, a ragged breath with a smile mixed in. "I want to," he says. "I never wanted to forget a second. But when I close my eyes, sometimes I wonder if I'm really seeing her."

Understanding rushes through her, so hot it feels like culture shock. It's how she feels about her village, her family. She loved them, and she mourned them, but she can't draw like Clarke. She can't put them down on paper to keep them in her mind. And she was so young, she sometimes feels like they weren't even real. If she saw them, she thinks she'd recognize them, but maybe she wouldn't.

"We're almost there," she says. "So you can find out. She looks different, but she's still Clarke."

"Yeah." His voice comes out faint, barely an echo. "Still Clarke."

*

She doesn't know how long she waits for him, alone in the rover. 

She's not actually _alone_ , not really; Echo and Harper are watching, somewhere hidden, bodyguards, but they aren't coming to talk to her, and she's actually glad. It was hard enough talking to Bellamy, and she knew him best.

As well as she knows any of them, anyway.

If Bellamy dies too, if his plan doesn't work and they don't let him bring Clarke back, she won't be alone. But she doesn't know what she'll do either.

Except she does. She'll survive. That's what Clarke taught her. Survive, no matter what. You spend your whole life surviving, until you don't. But she doesn't know how to want it

She doesn't have to find out; after what feels like six more years, but what must only be an hour or two at the most, they finally come back.

She turned the headlights off, so she doesn't see them until they're close, and she makes Clarke out first, her hair still bright against the darkness. She's slumped, obviously hurt, leaning heavily against Bellamy's side as they walk. Madi's eyes are adjusted enough to see her injuries, but also to see Bellamy's hand on Clarke's waist, his grip tight like he's never letting go.

She's out of the rover before she knows she's moving.

"Clarke!"

She drops down for Madi to hug her, dragging Bellamy with her, and for a second, it's like that's the whole world, Clarke wrapped around her, Bellamy half embracing both of them, possibly just to keep his balance. 

But she can feel his face against her hair, too.

"You did so well," Clarke is murmuring. "I'm so proud of you."

"I didn't do--"

"You did." She pulls away, rubbing her thumb against Madi's face, catching the tear Madi hadn't noticed yet. "We don't have to do everything on our own anymore. We have help, and you knew you needed it. You did everything right."

"What about the bad guys?"

Clarke looks at Bellamy, and something twinges in Madi's chest. Before, when Clarke didn't know what to say, she would look up, like she was asking the sky for answers.

But that wasn't it. She was always looking for him.

"I think the bad guys will keep until tomorrow," says Clarke. "Right?"

"Yeah." Bellamy stands, helping Clarke up, but helping Madi too. Making sure they're both taken care of. "Where are we going?"

"Back to the others," she says. "We can make a camp, set up watches, in case they were just waiting for us to let our guard down. And then--"

"The bunker." Clarke nods, and he smiles a little, squeezes her arm. "In the morning. You need sleep."

"So do you." She lets out a shaky breath, leaning on him hard. He's big; he can handle it. "And everyone else. It's--Raven and Murphy, right? They're still up there."

"Yeah, we need to get in touch with them too. But--can we figure it out later?" he asks, with this note in his voice Madi can't quite place. A joke, maybe, but not one anyone's supposed to laugh at.

"Whenever you're ready," says Clarke, with the ghost of a smile. "Are you good, Madi?"

It's an odd question, because their whole life is behind them. They're leaving their home and everything they own, giving it all up to strangers, at least for now. But their friends are here, their family. The people they can trust, who are going to help them. Clarke's hurt, and Madi's tired and scared, but they're better off than they have been in years.

She doesn't know where they're going, but they're doing it together. Just like Clarke always said they would.

"Yeah," she says. "Let's go."


End file.
